When Power Masks Insecurity: Understanding Sexual Assault and Harassment

Sexual assault and harassment are often misunderstood as acts of uncontrolled desire. In truth, they are rarely about attraction—they are about power and control.

At the core lies an inability to handle rejection. For many perpetrators, a simple “no” feels unbearable. Instead of respecting boundaries, they turn rejection into a personal threat, something that exposes their insecurity and fragile sense of self. And rather than confronting that discomfort, they attempt to restore control by dominating or humiliating others.

This is why harassment and assault occur across workplaces, schools, public spaces, and even within families. It is not about passion—it is about entitlement: the belief that one’s wants matter more than another’s rights. It is about silencing, shaming, and stripping away autonomy, so the victim feels smaller and the perpetrator feels bigger.

When we see it this way, the issue is not just individual misbehavior but a cultural problem. A society that teaches men to see rejection as humiliation, that mocks vulnerability, or that excuses aggression as “boys being boys” lays fertile ground for harassment.

Because learning to accept “no”—gracefully, respectfully, and without violence—is not weakness. It is maturity. And it is the foundation of genuine connection, free from fear and control.

This is why it is so important to teach children, from a young age, how to handle rejection. When a child hears “no,” whether in play, in friendships, or later in relationships, it is not a reflection of their worth—it is simply the other person exercising their autonomy. Respecting that boundary is a sign of strength, not humiliation.

If we raise children to understand that rejection is not personal defeat but part of healthy human interaction, we give them the tools to build relationships rooted in respect rather than entitlement. We show them that every person has the right to their own body, their own choices, and their own voice. And in doing so, we break the cycle where insecurity turns into aggression and where power is used to silence rather than connect.

Note: If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual harassment or assault, please remember you are not alone and support is available:

• Telenita (AWAM): A free helpline offering advice on sexual harassment, gender-based violence, and legal information.

• Talian Kasih 15999: A 24-hour nationwide hotline for emergency support and counselling.

• Police (999): If you are in immediate danger, please contact the police or go to the nearest station.

  
  

In addition, Malaysia has established the Tribunal for Sexual Harassment, a specialised legal body to address sexual harassment complaints. Survivors can file a complaint here without going through lengthy court processes, making justice more accessible and less intimidating. This is a crucial step towards building a safer and more equitable society.