“I Should Be Over It—But I’m Not." - A clue to Complex PTSD

“Why do I overreact to small things?”

“Why do I keep pushing people away, even when I don’t want to be alone?”

“Why do I feel numb when something good happens—or panic when it’s too quiet?”

If you’ve ever felt this way, and no one could give you a clear answer, I want you to know: you’re not crazy, and you’re not broken. What you’re experiencing could be something called Complex PTSD—a deeply misunderstood response to prolonged emotional pain.

What Is Complex PTSD?

We usually hear about PTSD in relation to accidents, disasters, or war. But Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is different.It happens when a person lives through ongoing, repeated trauma—especially during childhood or in relationships where they had no power to leave.

It can come from:

• Growing up in a household where love felt conditional, unpredictable, or absent

• Being emotionally or physically neglected by caregivers

• Being in an abusive relationship where you constantly had to walk on eggshells

• Living with someone who used threats, gaslighting, or shame to control you

• Repeated betrayal or abandonment

And here’s the thing: sometimes the trauma wasn’t about what happened, but about what didn’t happen—like never feeling safe, protected, or truly seen.

How It Shows Up in Everyday Life

Many people with Complex PTSD don’t even realise they have trauma. Why? Because they’ve learned to survive. They’ve built high-functioning, overachieving, or people-pleasing versions of themselves to stay safe.

But underneath, the effects of trauma can quietly shape everyday life:

• You struggle with trust. Getting close to people feels risky. You may keep your guard up—or trust too quickly and then feel disappointed.

• You feel “too much” or “not enough.” Shame is a constant companion. You either shrink or overperform, always fearing you’re one mistake away from being unloved.

• You’re always scanning for danger. Even when things are calm, your body is tense. You can’t relax. You feel on edge, braced for something to go wrong.

• You have intense emotional reactions. A small comment can send you into rage, tears, or complete shutdown—and you don’t always know why.

• You feel disconnected from joy. You might feel flat, empty, or like you’re watching your own life from the outside.

• You keep attracting the same toxic patterns. Maybe you’re always the caregiver. Or the one who’s never allowed to need help. Or you stay in relationships where your needs are never met.

If any of this feels familiar... you’re not alone. You’re not dramatic. You’re not too sensitive. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was trained to do: protect you.

Why Naming It Matters

Many of my clients have spent years in confusion, blaming themselves for being “difficult” or “unstable.” Once we start exploring the possibility of Complex PTSD, there’s often a pause... then a flood of relief.

Because putting a name to your experience means:

• It’s not just you.

• It makes sense.

• You can heal.

You’ve survived. Now, let’s work on helping you feel alive.

Healing Is Possible

Recovery from Complex PTSD isn’t about “getting over it” or erasing your past. It’s about learning to feel safe—in your body, your relationships, and your sense of self.

This might include:

• Working with a trauma-informed therapist who truly understands how long-term trauma shapes identity, emotions, and relationships

• Learning to regulate your nervous system so you’re not always in fight, flight, or freeze

• Building safe, trusting relationships where you don’t have to perform or apologise for existing

• Reclaiming your story—with compassion, not shame

Healing takes time, and it doesn’t follow a straight line. But every small moment of awareness, every kind boundary you set, every time you choose to stay instead of abandon yourself—that’s healing.

You Deserve Safety. You Deserve to Be Whole.

If this resonates with you, I want you to know: there’s nothing wrong with you.The way you feel makes sense in light of what you’ve been through.

And you don’t have to carry it alone.

If you’re looking for a gentle, trauma-informed space to begin healing, I’m here. Whether you’re ready to dive in or just curious if therapy might help—you’re welcome to reach out, ask questions, and take things at your own pace.